


I'm Sorry, But I Fell in Love Tonight

by breakable_fix



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4210959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakable_fix/pseuds/breakable_fix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'The quiet presses against him, heavy and angry. He should say something, he should… comfort her. Apologize. For being a monster, a murderer, a demon, a-</p><p>“I do not hate you because you are a murderer, Wolfgang.” Her voice is harsh, angry. It shocks him. Then, softer, “I hate you because you left me."'</p><p>Kala gets angry. Wolfgang gets sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Sorry, But I Fell in Love Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> hahah i wrote this at 2:00 in the morning and didn't even do a second read through lmao . anyway i really wanted to explore kala being pissed as fuck at wolfgang (cuz like come on) but like idk if that really translated cuz i think this just got really fluffy so..........enjoy.

She came to him in dreams most nights. Soft and warm, smiling, comforting. He would reach for her, running his hands up and down her arms, moving his hands to her hair. His face held close to hers. Breathing her breath. She never looked fearful of him, never flinched away from his touch. He hated himself for taking comfort in her love. It made him feel like even more of a monster when he woke in a panic, searching the sheets for her.

She would stay with him, lingering through the day. Sometimes she came to him as he drove, simply sitting in the passengers seat, the silence deafening. He would see her from the corner of his eye, watching the out the window at the cold landscape passing by. But whenever he mustered the courage to look over at her she would vanish. He wondered if she was ever there at all, or if she simply haunted him. He ached to hear her voice in the same way he ached to be alive. The same way he needed to breath. It was an insistent, constant desire eating at him.

He remembered this feeling from somewhere in his shared memory; the need to be something to somebody, the need for affection, for love, forgiveness, acceptance. He fought against it, knowing he was not someone that deserved humanity, least of all from someone as… holy as her. He pushed back against her kindness and the kindness of the others. But no matter how hard he resisted the feeling it always came back stronger. It returned to him in dreams, whispered back into him by her lips. She was sweet with redemption, warmth, happiness. He should have known he couldn’t withstand her for long.

-

She visits him a month after the night at his uncle’s. He wakes to her sitting beside him in the dark, staring at her hands. For a moment, neither of them speaks. When he does finally open his mouth, all the words leave in a rush, a whispered jumble of ‘please leave’ and ‘god I missed you’. The corners of her mouth turn up slightly. Her eyes stay sad, unreadable.

“How are you?” She says, followed by a whispered ‘ _my love_ ’ at the back of her mind. He is surprised to realize that he wants to cry.

“I’m fine.” He says and it’s such a blatant lie she doesn’t even need to read his mind. She just knows. A shameful part of him expects some kindness from her, some undeserved sweetness or understanding. She only shakes her head, sighing heavily and looking into the blackness of his motel room. Another moment of silence passes. He doesn’t think before he reaches out to brush his hand over hers. She doesn’t flinch, but she moves away from him, rolling onto her side and curling into herself. Protecting herself. It hurts so much more than he ever thought it could. He realizes that his dreams have been lying to him. How could she ever love him? Her? Love a monster? 

The quiet presses against him, heavy and angry. He should say something, he should… comfort her. Apologize. For being a monster, a murderer, a demon, a-

“I do not hate you because you are a murderer, Wolfgang.” Her voice is harsh, angry. It shocks him. Then, softer, “I hate you because you left me.”

He doesn’t know how to respond and so he doesn’t. She sighs again and a moment later he is where she is. Her room is awash in early morning blue. She gets up out of bed and moves to the window, where dawn is barely breaking. He wants to follow her, wants to leave, wants to go back to sleep. Instead he only sits there, watching her. She faces away from him, into the sunrise, with her arms wrapped around herself. Silence has become a friend of theirs. It is minutes before he finally speaks.

“Would you rather have followed me halfway across Germany, running for my damn life?” His voice is harder than he intended. He flinches from it, but on her it has the opposite effect. She whirls around to face him, furious.

“I would have _rather_ made my own decisions!” She isn’t shouting, not with her family sleeping down the hall. But there is an intensity to her voice, a deep current under her words, that terrifies him. Her face is contorted, enraged, eyes flashing. He has never seen her like this. Something in him senses that she has never seen herself this way. He blinks at her, waiting for her to continue. She scowls, running her hands through her hair. 

“Perhaps, I did not _want_ to marry Rajan?” She is pacing in front of him, arms flailing wildly. “ _Perhaps_ , it was not your place to decide these things for me?” He simply blinks again and she glares at him.

“Kala…” He begins, softly. “What I’ve done, what I will do… I am… Not a good man. I am…” 

She interrupts him roughly. “Yes, yes, you’re a monster, you’ve done terrible things, ah!” She stops in front of him, arms crossed. “We have all heard it, Wolfgang. Do you think we do not feel your sorrow? Your regret? Do you not feel ours?”

He nods slowly, in assent. He has felt everything, since the rescue in Iceland. He looks away, down at his hands in his lap. She sits next to him.

“I am angry. I am angry with you, and how you have treated us. I know this.. this _connection_ is strange, but it is a miracle, is it not?” She is imploring, beseeching, and he finds that he cannot deny her. He nods.

“Then you owe it to us to forgive yourself, Wolfgang. Please, let yourself be alright.” She says, impossibly soft. He looks at her then, the first time he’s seen her face this close in what feels like an eternity. She is impossibly beautiful, radiant, incandescent. Something shifts within him, so fundamental piece sliding into place. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers and its apology to her and to himself, and for the other six and Felix, and to the world, he supposes. She kisses his forehead, soft and sweet, and he feels tears slip unbidden down his cheeks. He feels like a child again when she takes him into her arms, rocking him back and forth. She coos softly, murmuring sweetness to him.

 -

“I am angry with you, my love.” She whispers to him later, as they lay side by side in the early morning sunlight. “But I am more angry with the world that made you.” He rolls over to kiss her.

He wakes later, in his own bed. She is still beside him.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> scream into the void with me: sens8ight.tumblr.com


End file.
